The course last night was fabulous: well-run, exciting, inspiring and it was easy to park! Kate, one of the two course leaders, had us do an exercise on what we wanted to write about, our Unique Selling Point, and I found this very revealing.
So often, in many areas of my life, I settle for what will do, not what is best or even what I really want. Take clothes buying. For years I have bought dull coloured items which just about fit, because they will do, they are ok and I really don't want to spend any more money or time trying things on. Two years ago I discovered Allison, the personal fashion advisor at John Lewis. She is an angel, truly. Now, when I have saved my pennies or my mum has been very generous at Christmas, I go and spend two hours with Allison. She encourages me to buy clothes that suit me and fit me. She is not the slightest bit pushy but she won't let me say, "Oh, this will do." As a result I have some clothes in my wardrobe that I really love and if anyone ever says to me, "I like your top/skirt/trousers," you can bet it's something that Allison helped me pick out.
So last night, as I thought about writing, I could think of lots of ideas that will do but I had to listen very carefully to hear that voice telling me what really excites me, what I most want explore. And it turns out that what I want to write about would involve a lot of research in order to build up the frame I want to hang my story on, the investment of time and effort, believing that I will produce something of worth at the end of it and that it won't just fizzle out, another thing that I never saw through. It turns out that if I really want to write, I will have to believe in myself and not just settle for something that will do.