Incentives

I took all three children swimming yesterday - an experience that always leaves me gasping for Valium or gin and tonic. My imagination goes into overdrive with scenarios of the children drowning in the pool or cracking skulls on the edge and even extends into planning their escape from the car and wondering if they could swim long enough to be rescued if I ever were to veer off the motorway into a gravel pit! I have to try very hard to be a fun mummy in the pool!

After a Summer of swimming, mostly with their dad who is not as sensitive to the horde of dangers waiting to engulf my precious babies, the children's confidence levels were a great deal higher than mine. They wanted to go to the deep end. By deep, I mean 2 metres, so even I am out of my depth. It took me a while to feel ready to shepherd (or would 'fishherd' be a better word?) my little swimmers to the far end, where they proceeded, with great delight, to jump in and try to touch the bottom with their feet - even my five-year old girl who has only been swimming independently since July. In fact, she was proudest of all. As soon as we were in the water she wanted to show me the sign reading 'No Armbands Beyond This Point'. "I can go past the sign mummy, I don't have armbands anymore," she told me.

I was discussing incentives with a friend yesterday. How do you encourage and motivate children to do well and to try hard? While I do believe that noticing and praising a child's achievements means a lot, just as ignoring or failing to appreciate an achievement can discourage and cause pain, deep in my heart I believe that true motivation comes from within and that the purest incentive is to reach a personal goal. I am proud of my daughter learning to swim and have told her so long and loud, but I don't think any words of mine beat the joy of jumping in the deep end and touching the bottom.