A glass of milk and a chocolate biscuit

Twice in the last 24 hours, my two boys have had a bust up. On both occasions, my middle son has been upset by something that my older son has been excited about, without any intention of causing hurt. I am a great believer in listening to and respecting the children's feelings, it's what my parenting books tell me, and my basic counselling skills training. But it's the hardest thing about being a mother, especially a full-time, Home-educating mother: the sheer volume of messy, difficult, irrational, unpleasant and grouchy feelings, (not just the children's but mine too!) Both these incidents involved my elder son being proud and excited about something he had done, and my middle son feeling jealous, angry and embarrassed. Big feelings, no easy answers. My best effort: a cuddle, a discussion about the need to state feelings clearly and trying to imagine the impact your actions may have on others, a glass of milk and a chocolate biscuit. The difficult feelings are still there, I just hope that this painful experience is one step along the path to greater emotional intelligence, that the acceptance of the feelings strengthens self-respect and that I've got enough chocolate biscuits in the cupboard for the remainder of the week!