Decisions

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
(Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude)

Sometimes big decisions need to be made. It is important to follow God's will but I beginning to suspect that it is not so complicated as I have made out. If I honestly bring to him my desires (and that includes my desire to do what he wants and my desire to do things my way,) can I trust him to keep me safe and to work in my choices? While there is certainly a stance of refusal to hear, a kind of spiritual fingers-in-ears and loud singing which God will respect, I think he is more than capable of working in my honest but confused openness.
His gifts are always good. Coco was a gift from my heavenly father and her warm and comforting presence has allowed me to experience something that my intellect has never grasped before. I find it easy to focus on his discipline, on growth and progress, on training and self-sacrifice, but I have begun to feel the goodness of his gifts and let myself simply be loved and to know that that is the heart of his will for me.