Thursday, 13 January 2011
There are days when it feels as if my emotional skin is inflamed and scratchy, when those around me can do nothing right. I am fine alone but the moment I have to interact with anyone it is almost too much to bear. I am not sure what causes this: lack of sleep, fluctuating hormone or sugar levels, repressed emotion, and early morning run? Or perhaps it is just that everyone else really is that irritating? The dog has decided to dig holes in my lawn. (My garden is no carefully tended Eden and does sometimes look as if no-one lives here, but I find it extremely frustrating that anyone should make it worse.) My son decided to play with his football today and kicked it over the fence twice within five minutes and then came to the park in trousers at least four inches too long so they are now muddy and torn around the ankles. In the space of forty minutes, the forty-five minutes I had put aside for our chapter book, the door-bell rang twice and the phone once. The dog ran away in the park and then ran around me in excited circles, as if to make the point. The bath panel in the new bathroom is the wrong type, there is no toilet seat with the new toilet and I still don't have all the parts for the shower. I was mortified this morning when the door to the computer room creaked open one more time while I was on the phone, the children having just run screaming through, and I yelled, without looking, "What do you want now?" only to turn and see the shocked face of one of the workmen! I am truly ashamed of my own irritability but, without the option of crawling back under the duvet abd thus saving the world from my bad mood, I have yet to figure out a solution. Hazard lights perhaps?