Sunday, 8 January 2012
It is often said that it is during the difficult periods, a person finds out who their friends are. This has been true in my life but not in the way that I expected. It is often simply the way someone asks about what's going on for me or the greeting in a Christmas card which express the warmth and acceptance from those who truly love me. There are friendships which I have held on to by the tips of my fingers, which leave me feeling insecure and drained, like a climb too hard for me with tiny hand-holds on the rock wall. There are friendships which energise me, delight me and leave me feeling good about myself, my choices and life. It's hard in a busy life to find or make the time to spend with people; it's a tough balancing act between fitting it all in and allowing space to relax. It's hard too to be honest with myself about relationships which feel an effort and it's not that these people are in any way less - just that we don't fit together. I e-mailed a couple of friends today who I haven't seen in a while, who I enjoy spending time with, who are frequently on my mind and who I would like to sit down with over a cup of tea in the near future. I would like to spend more time in these relationships this year and, maybe, have the courage to let go of others.